I have just finished my second week attending Saint Paul University pursuing a degree in Conflict Studies. It’s an interdisciplinary degree so my courses this semester are: Indigenous Peoples and Conflict; Disarmament and Arms Control; Inequality, Conflict and Social Justice; and Psychology.

Today my Psychology professor was talking about the influence of parenting styles on their children. Usually he sticks to the textbook, but sometimes he will go off on a tangent or rattle off a throwaway line like he’s thinking out loud. Towards the end of the lecture he said, “Perfectionism is where guilt and feelings of inadequacy meet.”

Mind. BLOWN.

I’ve never been to therapy, but I’m pretty sure that one sentence was worth at least a year of therapy. It explains so much about me and my ingrained habits. I think (hope?) that the next time I’m down on myself for making a mistake I MIGHT be able to take a step back and remember that this response was programmed into me at a young age and it is WELL past time for me to stop it.

I have to pay a premium on my tuition as a foreign student, but I’d say today was worth the whole freight I paid to be here. By the end of the four years I should be a whole new person with a greatly improved skill set. I can’t wait to see what I learn next week.