Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is a movie so bad it’s…almost indescribably bad. But for some of us schlock is a beloved outlet. You laugh that it’s so awful, but the joke’s really on you for watching. As an author there’s definitely some schadenfreude going on. I may not be Neil Gaiman, but I sure can write better than THAT.

IMDB’ synopsis of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is “A second-rate private eye sees a woman’s UFO abduction claim as their ticket to fame and fortune.” Which seems straightforward, but I’m guessing it’s just the only coherent bit the author was able to distill down from two hours of weird disjointed vignettes.

This film tried to be too many things at once: Close Encounters/Tampopo/The Seven Year Itch/Star Wars/2001/a kung fu flick and a musical. The sheer randomness of it produces a sort of cognitive dissonance that I’m still not fully recovered from, but for two hours the problems of the world were held at a distance.

Say what you want about schlock, but you can’t worry while you’re hopelessly confused. If you’re looking for a distraction and a lot of bewildered laughter you might want to give Twinkle Twinkle Little Star a try.

Here’s a link to the trailer if you want a little taste of madness.